Wear modest, dark clothing that you would wear to a formal meeting or a place of worship, unless the family has asked for something different. If you are unsure, dress slightly more formally rather than less. Traditions differ, so ask a relative or the funeral home if you can.
What to wear by setting
| Setting | Usually suitable | Think twice about |
|---|---|---|
| Funeral at a place of worship | Dark suit, or dark dress, skirt or trousers with covered shoulders | Bright patterns, short hemlines |
| Funeral home visitation | Business clothing in quiet colors | Athletic wear, clothes with logos |
| Graveside service | The same, with shoes you can walk in on grass and a dark coat in cold weather | Thin heels, open toes in mud |
| Celebration of life | Whatever the family asks. It may be a favorite color | Assuming black is expected |
Some religious customs
These are general customs and practice varies between families and communities. When in doubt, ask.
- Catholic and most Protestant services. Dark, modest clothing.
- Jewish services. Modest, dark clothing. Men may be asked to wear a head covering, often provided at the door.
- Muslim services. Loose, modest clothing covering arms and legs. Women usually cover their hair, and shoes come off in a mosque.
- Hindu services. White is commonly worn rather than black.
- Buddhist services. Often white or dark, plain clothing, depending on the tradition.
Quick rules when you are not sure
- Choose plain over patterned, and quiet over bright.
- Keep shoulders covered, and keep hemlines at or below the knee.
- Skip strong perfume and noisy jewelry.
- Check the weather if part of the service is outside.
- If you cannot afford new clothes, do not buy them. Nobody will mind clean, neat clothing you already own.
Showing up matters far more to a grieving family than what you have on.
Common questions
Do you have to wear black to a funeral?
Not in most American settings today, but dark, muted clothing remains the safe choice unless the family has asked for something else.
Can you wear jeans to a funeral?
Generally avoid them, unless the family has asked for casual dress. Clean dark trousers are a better choice.
What should children wear?
Neat, comfortable clothes in quiet colors. A child does not need a suit or a formal dress.
Related guides
How long after death is the funeral?
There is no national deadline for a funeral. See what sets the timing, what can delay it and how refrigeration or embalming fits in.
What to do when someone dies
A step-by-step checklist for the first hours, the first week and the first months after a death, with the official agencies to notify.
How much does a funeral cost?
National median funeral costs, what a funeral home must show you under the FTC Funeral Rule, and a worksheet to total the price list you were given.
This guide explains general rules. It is not medical, legal or financial advice for your situation. Program rules and amounts change, usually each January (Medicare and Medicaid) and each October (VA). Confirm details with the agency or a qualified professional before you decide. See our editorial policy.